On The Threshold….

Of The Unknown…

Female Infanticide in India

Posted by saij20 on December 18, 2010

We Indians have always respected women and worshipped them even, God was not just a male form (HIM) God to us is an union of the male and female forces into one being. From times immemorial women have ruled this nation, there have been great queens, great mothers, great beauties, great saints, great scientists, great artists and dancer and actresses an they continue to do so to this day, and yet today and for some years now we have the scythe of “female infanticide” over the neck of the new born female baby.

Where did it go wrong?? When did the rot set in?? Who started this most horrendous of crimes?? How can there be a nation where the thing and the opposite of it has come to be??

Is this the bitter end product of our vanity of peer pressure?? Let me substantiate my statement. I believe ( I am subject to correction ), that this dangerous trend is the result of the Dowry System.

The Dowry or Dower was, when it actually began a gift of money and articles like gold and various other households things which a newly married girl would need to set up her new household, it was a gift from her doting parents as an expression of their love for her. With the passage of time as the rich gave more and more fabulous dowries to their beloved daughters , there slowly crept in a feeling a envy among those who could not dower their daughters so well and a matter of matching up to those fabulous dowers for peers who felt they need to dower their girl equally well if not better. Hence started the race where peers tried to out do each other and the less fortunate aspired to match up to the rich and in all this things got murkier and more twisted with the Groom and his family thinking the dowry was a symbol of the value given to them and a measure of their own worth. Even worse is they started seeing it as means to make money and as this got more and more deep rooted in our society the killings started. There were fathers and mothers who could never in their entire life time pool up those fabulous amounts for getting their daughter(s) married and a man could only borrow so much amount. To add to this the thing that dealt the final blow was the reluctance of grooms to marry without a dowry and the cruel treatment a heartless society lay in store for an unmarried woman.

Today, even today, we see poor people kill their infant daughters for they can’t think of all the above said things and know that they can’t achieve or ever fulfill those needs of our society. I have seen and known people who start saving from the moment a daughter is born, savings in Gold and Money so that one day more than twenty years later they can marry of that precious girl in pomp and style to the satisfaction some family that feels itself to be superior due to their having the Male child. And truth be told even after all this there is no guarantee the precious princess will be happily ever after for there are demons in our society that can kill a woman, burn a bride, torture an innocent soul all for more dowry, their perceived privilege of being married to them.

Who is to blame for this?? All of us a society everytime we encourage the payment and receiving of dowry. Or else we would be a nation of only men and our population would definitely diminish and a nation of gay men would last as long as they last.

P. S. It’s not been edited


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Getting off the block

Posted by saij20 on December 22, 2009

Another futile attempt at getting off the block, on which I have perched for the last three years and many days.

Well for the last few days the lady of the house has been reminding me of how well I write ( there were only three people who ever read my blogs and she is one of them, the other two have long given up asking me to write) and that I should get back to writing. She actually thinks I can do a good, but then such are the ways of blind love( for her even yours chubby cherubiness is Wow!!).

Another theory at all this sudden interest in writing could be due the fact that we are religiously watching the TV show CALFORNICATION amusing ourselves with the shenanigans of a writer with a writers blocks who can’t zip it up and is the embodiment of the perfect A-hole ( the kind wimmen dig and get attracted to like moths to a flame). I am by no means a Hank Moody and can never be too but then, hey !! isn’t he every man’s idol??

So if I continue tapping the keys then I guess the thanks go to the Lady or to Hank Moody.

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The Tragic Weekend

Posted by saij20 on September 3, 2009

I woke up this Monday to read an SMS that said ” the high court is in fumes no court for two days ” normally any extra day off would be happy news but then as the news came in of the tremendous loss irreparable loss ( as a lawyer I use this word quiet a lot) it hit me like a ton of bricks. The first thing that hurt me well there was sorrow was for the danger that Beautiful Heritage structure is in right now, they say a part of it may collapse anytime, next the priceless legal library within ancient manuscripts and invaluable collection of law books all in ashes, the antique furniture collection and wood work of the Nizams all gone up in smoke infact three days after I could still the smoke emanating from those burning embers( and we didn’t need a Hitler for that our ineffiency and callousness was more thaN enough). All this could have been prevented but we were busy telling all other citizens about what is right and what is wrong while we ourselves sitting in the temple of justice flouting every building norm and treating our country’s heritage like dog crap.

Before the week is over you get the news that the chief minister of our state is dead , a helicopter crash because he insisted on flying in extreme bad weather !!!! Nothing tempts like death I guess. God bless his soul. I surprised myself by actually feeling a tinge of sadness for a politician but I guess no ones death is fun, and also an elder said ” everyone becomes good and holy in death” amen.

I don’t know what to expect of the weekend.

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The Iphone blogs

Posted by saij20 on September 2, 2009

Well these are the first words from my phone- amazing I can blog from my mobile !!! God bless Apple and WordPress. Well ihope to start blogging and get this derelict place back to working condition again.

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Racism in a Tube – “OS”

Posted by saij20 on April 14, 2008

11:59 PM – racists by default…!!!!! are we???
Current mood: crazy
Category: Life


everything that glitters is not gold….

Sorry people if you are getting tired of my cyncism and contstant whys???? and all those question marks ,but i cannot seem to help myself…lol….bitching about the world and life in general seems to be fun,but then in the same breath i try to think of myself as a positive person,hmmmm…i got to soemhow convince myself that these rambling are positive…wll being a lawyer i guess i can convince myself.hehehe.

Today was a dull boring day and most part of it i was gaurding the house since all the others were away,was watching tv .”.that most passive of all entertainment,where all you got to do is switch of ur brains and just become a vegetable and that mighty instrument called a telly entertains you with its flickering glow”- calvin n hobbes.Ok now to the point about racism, today my mum and sis went to attend a function ,acutually the naming ceremony of my second cousin’s new born daughter,she must be around 21 days old.Well mom got back from that “do” and she was telling about the happenings there and she happened to mention that how everybody i.e all the tom,dick and harry and jane,jill and all and sundry who attended the function it seems where bothered or were speculating the baby’s skin colour and they seemed to think she was dark skined .On hearing this i was………………………………………….during that pause  i was pulling my hair and wondering why cant people grow up a little .

Hey!!!! this is a very sad scenario in our country ,this empahsis on fair skin, just pick up any major newspaper and look at the matrimonial columns and we will know what i am speaking of .Maybe all this obsession for fairer skin if not totally white atleast lighter shades of brown,is a colonial thing which rubbed on to us,and we still stink of it.We should change our attitudes,well calling ourselves racists will be too hard on us i guess ,but then we seriously need to look beyond the colour.Well at least some people are smart to make aneat tidy profit from all this sillyness of ours,the cosmetic majors,yeah!!!! in india we have this ridiculous market called  THE FAIRNESS CREAM MARKET  if you think that sounds ridiculous  then check out the adverts/commercials for them, they stink – like guys sneaking into girls dorm to steal their fairness cream and then the company makes a new fairness cream for the guys too, or a girl doesnt get job/married/life because she aint fair complexioned and hence life is not fair to her…arghhhhhhhhhhhh thats how jarring they are on my nerves.Wonder where all the women’s lib ladies are when they watch this crap.



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The desire to…- ‘OS”

Posted by saij20 on April 14, 2008

9:56 AM – the desire to continue………..
Category: Life



Will there be the same desire for a thing after obtaining/achieving/learning/possessing it??

This morning while in the pool i noticed that many of the guys who joined the swimming course with me have stopped coming(yeah i am late learner,but its better than never). This made me wonder,why did they stop coming all of a sudden? was there no more fun in it for them?or was the purpose of their joining swimming acheived??. Well i dont what it could have been their reason,but, it certainly made me think along the lines that since all those people missing had learnt to swim completely they stopped , because probably they felt there was nothing else to learn there. Maybe ,the knowledge of having achieved it made the task or the thing( as i am reffering it) that much less fun or attractive.

This has made me think ,along a funny or odd way ,and  that is i shouldnt learn swimming completely, that i should leave a little bit still  to learn ,a little distance still to go,a little something left to achieve or strive for everyday, and hope that the my interest and desire to wake up at 5.30 am every morning is as strong as ever.I maybe wrong  in this desire to be a eternal learner.

The purpose of my taking up swimming was to get some exercise for an otherwise lazy body daily and have the added benefit of learning a life saving skill,yeh also i find the gyms so boring and dull after a certain time.I need to see to it that i dont get bored of swimming, i am sure the moment i start seeing it as a task to do or a work to be done in the day /an exercise i will start being lazy again and get bored.So to keep that interest i am trying to keep it as new skill to be learned and stretch that learner’s interest and enthusiasm (which only the learners can have) as much as possible.

Stretching the above logic perhaps a little bit more into more serious matters in life than losing weight and getting exercise,i have noticed that (from among my friends and people i know) when a guy desires for a girl and thnks he is in love with her,he would do anything for her, pine for her attention,jeeeeeez the kind of things he can do for her ….well the point is the most of the time the girl is impressed and says “YES” to him and then for a few months well sometimes it could be a lil longer he behaves in the best possible way and makes her happy,but then once that new experience of being in love or whatever else it is has worn off he becomes a total stranger of what he was before she said yes and the first few months after that.One fine morning ,the girl realises that she was wrong in thinking she knew this guy more than anyone else on this planet,to her utter shock and dismay and much chagrin she realises that of all his friends she knows him the least.God !!!!! that can be a pretty devastating truth to realise.So is the guy bored ?or has lost interest ?because he has taken her presence in his life for granted / is it no more the desire to achieve what he didnt have in his life/  well what is it for this sudden change in attitude,thought and passion the desire…..

There are people who live their life with passion and desire all through ,but, then there always the above mentioned…..


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Equality is a myth- “OS”

Posted by saij20 on April 14, 2008

Current mood: awake
Category: Life


Equality?? a Myth???

I for one believe that The concept of Equality is the biggest myth in life , and it is towards this utopia that  men and governments all over the world are trying to reach,well that i say is a noble effort and a very positive thought.B ut ,i would like to take a cynical and realistic look at things.

First of all i believe that this whole business of equality is a man made thing as opposed to the natural thing in creation…the very human nature.In the times of the cave men the stronger guys beat up the weaker ones( no i am not talking of money..they didnt have none at that time) and take away their food or their ladies. the stronegr guys lead from the front in  a hunt. thats how man lived as soon he was created (as some would like to believe) or as soon as he evolved and his brain size grew proportionately with his body.the point,i want to make is nothing artificial can survive for too long or eternity and artificial is all man made things and man “made” concepts.GOD, if we believe in that or NATURE,(whatevr which way we describe that which we dont know) never meant for all beings to be equal.period. Ironic ,as this may sound,its just a way of seeing things, if all were equal all beings then there would be imbalance in nature /in creation.Let me explain my weird idea, all creatures have a defnitive role in their lives ,like take the food chain for example the loins are meant to eat the deers and lesser creatures,foxes meant tio eat rabbits..etc..birds of prey eat the rodents and lesser birds.well if all these were equal there would be utter chaos because the lions would find it difficult to find food,there wouldnt be enought grass because there are too many deers etc, similarly man was made to progress and and evolve and at the same time periodicaly ( well how often is upto him) eliminate his own kind enmass through wars and slowly and systematically through pollution and accidents and to alesser percentage through crime etc.All these man made elimination of fellow man was done by stronger men against weaker and poorer men(sorry no equals here either), yeh MR.G /NATURE too does some cleansing through his storms and eartquakes and such disasters.

There have have always been from times immemorial wise  men who tired to make all men equal through various means like legislation etc…but have failed miserably, mighty concepts like communism were created and like all man made stuff it lasted not too long.In communism all were equals/comrades but the comrades who were the PARTY MEMBERS over a period of time became “MORE EQUAL THAN THE ORDINARY COMRADES“….that according to me is the bug that brought down communism. So even in thst uptopian heaven of equality a few mortals/individuals were more equal than others.In india we have reservations to bring the lower classes up to the level of the exsisting upper classes to make it alevel playing feild,this was meant to be for the first 10years of independence,but more than fifty years now it still is a miserable failure.The ridiculous thing here is that the lower classes havent really come up but rather these days even upper classes want to be classified or bunched with those very lower classes they so dispised..why???? well dear its all for reservations.

All said and done i can ramble on for ever like this make one sided arguments it sure is easy when no one is opposing you rviews……..i would like to acknowledge that though EQUALITY is an UTOPIAN idea still the very act of striving for it is a VERY POSITIVE AND PROGRESSIVE idea….it may not be acheived but then there is no harm in striving for it.



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The could’ve been and would’ve beens- “OS”

Posted by saij20 on April 14, 2008

Current mood: amused
Category: Life



This is not unrequited love ,no sir !!!! it aint that,it could at best be described as unrealised love or unexpressed desire..jeeeez god alone knows what the hell it was.Two things that happened yesterday i talked to two girls and and they were the two girls who made me feel,that something,how would i describe it???? well in my words i would say they gave me that feeling of  “BEING HIGH” albeit a natural high no chemical assistance here,being a complete teetotaller i think this is what being high meant, that extreme feeling of exhiliration,that strange feeling bordering on euphoria .

Well one was the girl i had met couple of years ago maybe five, it was magic when i first saw her it was a CRUSH at first sight( love no i havent loved anyone yet), more than her personality it was that sheer beauty that attracted  me,  she was the most gorgeous creature in God’s creation that the human eye could get to gorge on..lol(i know i am going into hyberbole here..but uch was the impact she had on me). That first glance at her and i was making enquiries as to what name was given to this certainly celestial creature(could be an angel i dnt know) well non e around me knew,so i guessed i being in the same class i got another one year to find out the same, but to my utter i actually went upto her and thought what the heck and asked her name and found out that very same day. Boy!!!!! what an impact that had one me talking to her and listening to her ..for the next one week i didnt have a clue about myself or what was happening,frankly this was a first in my humble life, it was as if all of a sudden in the placid waters of my life a water lilly bloomed(hyperbole again…arghhhhh not able to check that),well i was high and thought this must be how people on dope felt.I started seeing things ,suddenly salma hayek started resembling this girl ,yeah salma hayek(that exotic of most exotic beauties).Well as this went on all the highs of seeing her talking to her etc, my stupid cynical mind got to work in full earnest and among other logical reasons to get out of that magical spell was that maybe i am not good enough for her and the best excuse was she already has a boyfriend, well later when she broke up with him too i thought maybe i wasnt good enough and now  when i think i am good enough and confident she is happily almost engaged to her current boy freind whom she is going to marry very soon.lol such is life. No , i am not bitter but infact i am ghlad she was in my life,YEAH I DID TELL HER ONCE THAT I USED TO HAVE A CRUSH ON HER, i experienced things that were all beautiful,there wasnt any pain because i didnt believe i could be in love and thought of the whole thing as a mere crush on someone beautiful.Thats why i called it a COULD’VE HAVE BEEN love if i belived in it and myself and set forth in trying to achieve it positively. There went a golden opportunity but it still left a sweet taste in my mouth no bitterness at all. yesterday afternoon she called after seeing an sms from me and it was like the one or two times she called me of her own accord rather than me calling her.It still makes my day.

it was unexpressed/unrecognised feelings maybe……… but,truly uplifting..

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Stupid things I used to do- “OS”

Posted by saij20 on April 14, 2008

6:40 PM – what was i thinking???…lol
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Life


” Kiss your life. Accept it,just as it is. Today.
Now.So that those moments of happiness you’re
waiting for don’t pass you by.”

Two days ago i was in my friend vyomesh’s orkut page and was seeing his list of friends and saw a really charming face,and i checked out her profile and she seemed so genuine and nice and sweet and blahh…blah…., and boy!!! i just couldnt pass by without saying hhi or hello to her, so i left a message in her page saying hi hwdy,but, just to make sure she will notice i even mentioned i was a classmate of vyomesh..lol. I always thought girls would be more friendly the first time if you were known to someone she knows very well( well i maybe wrong there,but,what the heck !!).No ,no, …no reply for two days,so last evening i made it a point to remember to meet vyomesh online and told him clearly “dude put in a good word”, yeh i actually did that.

But, thinking of it afterwards i was wondering, what is it??? and i am clear that its just the plain desire to know someone who i liked when i saw the first time, yeh it can sound confusing, and, the fact that i am writing it in my blog can make it seem like i am out there on my way to getting lost or having a fall…lol, but no its just the plain desire to know this person.I don’t know about the others but i always had this intution about people ,i know when i see a person whether i could have a great rapport with them..( well,i could be wrong here),there were times when my first impression abpout someone was spot on ,but,foolishly i let someone else change that opinion only to rue the fact much later in life that i was right the first time round had i not listened to someone else’s advice.

Ok, coming back to this girl ,i guess my good friend called her up and said whatever crap he had to…possibly something like “gal this dude !!! a friend of mine is really desperate to hear a word from you or whatever..”lol so, i get the pleasant suprise of seeing a message from her…no dont believe that bit about suprise..yeah !!damn right !!! i ve been suprised !!!.

I’ve been trying to reason that ,this thing is just like ..umm how do i put it…for eg: you see something very beautiful ,wonderful,truly amazing…(all best adjectives ) and you wished that somehow you could associate yourself with that trulyamazingbeautifulwonderfulwhatever , perhaps thats why when we see the Taj Mahal we try and take so many pictures of ourselves with that monument of love, so we could show it off and tell “hey that’s me and the Taj!!! impressive huh!!! yeh i ‘ve been there ,seen it ,i know every thing there is to know about it”, or for that matter when we click pictures with celebrities .Well, similarly thats how i thinks when i see a pretty girl , i always… always invariably think wish i knew her and get to talk to her and see how much more beautiful she is beyond the looks….well its just that curiosity towards Mr.G’s most beautiful creation.At ,the end of all this ,i am asking myself ,do i need to make such a lengthy expalnation for this…lol.

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Just another day-“OS”

Posted by saij20 on April 14, 2008

Current mood: chipper
Category: Blogging


The day that was….1

A  positive attitude is like
a fire: unless you
continue to add fuel, it
goes out –
 Alexander Lockheart




I dont know that dude alexander lockheart ,but  i do understand what he has said about positive attitude,in fact he has answered my questions.I have always tried to live with a positive attitude ,but never been able to sustain it over a long period because i keep forgetting to be positive.

This past week has been good i have worked more than i usually do. Its like this right now “i am learning to work” once i do that “i will learn THE WORK“.Being a lawyer in a small town or big town is a tedious thing , i am still trying to adjust to the work ethic of a lawyer ,its job which is pretty much 24×7. Also slowly but gradually the skin is getting alittle bit thicker,well we need that thick skin to survive.That reminds me of a conversation i had with my friend laya last night( conversation??? i pretty much do all the talking) and she asked a very good question, she asked “Would you handle the case of a person who you know to be a criminal?” my answer was simple, since she was a medical student i asked her back “would you doctors treat a guy who know to be a criminal and a menace to society?” ( they dont call us lawyers for nothing..hehehe) but i guess that question pretty much answered it. The problem  rather the irony is that  99ust an exaggeration ,but majority) of the population isnt aware of the laws that govern them and they maintain this illiteracy untill they are in soup themselves or some loved one of theirs is in soup.Such is the state of affairs everywhere….and people i noticed are really clueless as to how a court functions and what are their basic rights as citizens of this country….WAKE UP ALL..!!!!.

Yesterday,i went to vizag to represent a new client of ours in the Family court there, poor chap his wife filed a case against him.Well, to be fair i ought to confess that i know only his side of the story, apparently when marrying the lady the fact that she had a congenital problem i.e she was born without an uterus was hidden from him and also he suspected that she was very generous with her love. Would there be justice for this guy for whom the continuance of his geneology is so very important???

What is justice??? well, justice as i understand is that the judge should listen with an open mind which is inbiased  to both the parties involved in a dispute and after hearing both their versions and seeing all the evidence decide what is right and wrong.The reality is quite different as we all are humans including the judges and hence the totally 100nbiased mind is impossible,because all our actions as humans are based on the data base of our past experiences and our knowledge of the world uptill then.So in the above mentioned case the judge being a lady and to add to it she is a lady who herself couldnt bear kids,if a guy approaches and says “your honour, i want to divorce my wife because she cant have progeny” will defnitely lose the case on that ground because the judge’s mind will be biased towards that guys wife because the judge can think for herself and see that just because someone cant have kids (the pain of which she knows from experience) doesnt mean they cant have a marriage.So in order to get justice or a decision in his favour the guy should put it that “he was cheated due to the active concealment of the congenital disorder or deffect prior to the marriage'”, now this is more clear and hence it is differentiated from infertility(which could be the man’s or woman’s problem).Well ,its all about how you present the truth, i’ve always believed there is a WAY OF ASKING ANYTHING, the samething when asked in different ways elicites different responses from the individual , when asked in one way you could end with the a slap in the face , in another way you could get yes or a polite no for an answer ,in another way it could oh yes you are so understanding……and all the time you ve been saying the samething.Met some of my law classmates in the court there,it was good.

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